The Explorer: August 2003

The Explorer

Volume 1, Issue 3, August 2003

Céad míle fáilte!

A hundred thousand welcomes! Thanks for joining me in this third issue of my e-mail newsletter, The Explorer. To those of you who've been with me from the start (just a few short months ago), thank you! I've truly appreciated the encouraging notes that so many of you have sent. To those of you who are just joining me, welcome! I hope you'll enjoy the journey. Thanks also to all of you who've forwarded issues on to friends and loved ones. I absolutely love hearing from new subscribers and watching the mailing list grow -- it really makes my day!

I'll soon be doing a little exploring myself (more on that later), so I'm sprinkling this issue with a few Irish touches. Enjoy this gorgeous view, captured by my husband in County Galway last summer... Hard to believe that I'll be seeing it again for myself (or at least some similar views!) in less than a week...

Thanks again for joining me on this exploration. I’m thrilled to be sharing it with you.

Love and Joy,

Doing What Scares You

In just a few days, I’ll be leaving with my family on a trip to Ireland and Scotland. I’m very much looking forward to the trip, but I’m not necessarily excited about the flight. Thinking about flying a long distance over water tends to get that little nagging voice going in the back of my head…”what if?” The recent conflicting news about U.S. air marshals on international flights doesn’t help. My husband, Orie, tends to get the same little nagging voice. His little voice likes to say: “Life is so good right now, I don’t want it to end.” Orie and I have many late night conversations about this topic whenever a scheduled flight is approaching. I typically pull out all of the safety statistics – the percentage of flights that “make it,” the fact that you’re (statistically) safer in a plane than in a car, etc. That doesn’t really satisfy him though, nor does it satisfy me.

So, instead, I think about it a different way. What would we miss if we didn’t go? I have no idea! There’s no way to know. There’s no way to know what we’ll experience during those days, whether we’re at home or abroad. Life changing events – positive or negative – can happen whether I’m “safe” at home or exploring the world….so why not choose to explore? There’s no way to know whether our flight will be the 1 in about 5,000,000 that doesn’t make it. More importantly, there’s no way to know in advance the marvelous ways our lives will change and grow on this trip.

What I DO know is that I’d regret not going simply because fear stopped me from flying. Letting fear win out is definitely not satisfying to me. It can lead to missed opportunities, bad decisions, and too much time spent on the wrong path. I’ve learned over time that the things I’m most scared to do and the decisions I’m most scared to make are usually the best and most important ones for me. Sometimes a scary step is required in order to make space for the good things we want in our lives. We may need to leave a relationship that’s not quite right in order to make space for a relationship that is joyful and fulfilling. Likewise, we may need to quit a job that is toxic in order to make space for a new business opportunity that is joyful and fulfilling. Or, as in my case, we may need to take an overseas flight in order to make space for new and exciting vacation experiences! Often the good things can’t happen until you’ve tackled the scary things.

Sometimes the fear comes up when we least expect it… When we get close enough to what we want – when we’re able to imagine actually having it, being it, or doing it – we may back off out of fear. “What if it’s not what I’m hoping for?” “What if I mess up?” “What if I change my mind?” This fear can get in the way of your forward movement and actually stop you from getting what you want. We stop in our tracks, thinking that if we wait a little longer it won’t be as scary.

I’ve got news for you. The fear never goes away. Instead, waiting makes it worse. When we stop moving forward out of fear, we allow the fear to take root – and the roots grow stronger, spreading out underneath the surface and forming a little network of fear. It soon becomes even harder to move forward because the fear has spread. “What if I’ve waited too long?” “What if I’m a failure?” “What if it’s too late?”

The answers? You haven’t. You won’t be. It’s not. It’s never too late to pull your fear up by the roots and tackle the very thing that scares you. It may not be pleasant, and you may feel scared while doing it, but I guarantee you three things: 1) you’ll make it, 2) you’ll be stronger for having done it, and 3) you’ll be closer to getting what you want.

Keep in mind, too, that you’re probably not the only one facing this fear. Talk with friends or family, go online in search of a support group, or give me a call – someone will certainly be able to put you in touch with a kindred spirit who can say to you, “Yup, I’ve been there too. It was hard, but I survived.”

When it seems like the best step is also the scariest step, do it anyway. It may only be scary because you’re thinking about the ways it could go wrong. Instead, think of the ways it could go right. Think, too, about what you’re missing out on by letting that fear take root. What are you losing by staying in a job, relationship, city, house, etc. that doesn’t satisfy your deepest needs? What opportunities are you passing up? Once you’ve tackled that fear, the world will be open to you, and the very thing that you want most will be closer than ever before.

Sláinte!

Ready to do something that scares you?

Want to find out how to get what you want more quickly, more joyfully, and with less effort?

Let's talk. It's free. Click here.

Life Navigation Coaching
find your direction, plan your journey

Lisa M. Evans, Ph.D.

(614) 262-8820

lisa@lifenavigationcoaching.com

www.lifenavigationcoaching.com

The Explorer is published more or less monthly to inspire curious people – people who love to explore, discover, and learn – to go out and get what they want. It is written by Lisa M. Evans, Ph.D., of Life Navigation Coaching, who coaches people to close the gap between where they are and where they want to be.

You can contact Lisa at (614) 262-8820 or by e-mail at lisa@lifenavigationcoaching.com.

Visit Life Navigation Coaching at www.lifenavigationcoaching.com to learn more about life coaching, Lisa, and opportunities for you.

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