The Explorer

Volume 2, Issue 3, March 2004

a Life Navigation Coaching publication 

Exploring a New World

A new little soul has joined our world!  Orion Michael Kristel was born on Thursday, February 26, 2004!  He’s a darling baby – absolutely beautiful.  My husband and I are now explorers in the new world of parenting, and we’re enjoying the journey. 

My goal as a coach is to help others create lives that are easy and joy-filled, and one of the best ways I can do that is to model an easy and joy-filled life myself.  So, you’ll probably notice that this newsletter is briefer than most.  And, if you choose to send your thoughts my way this month (which I always love!), you’ll notice that my normally speedy reply time has tapered off a bit.  I’m living on baby time for a while, and it’s wonderful.

I wish each and every one of you joy.

Love and Joy,

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

I guess you could say that I’ve experienced a major life change in the past few weeks.  (Ummm…serious understatement!)  In many ways, the past few weeks have felt like “two steps forward, one step back.”  I’ve learned so much about taking care of a baby and being a mom – the progress is amazing!  However, some of my old struggles have come back off and on as well. 

Some of you know that I describe myself as a “recovering perfectionist.”  I’ve struggled with perfectionism in the past but thought that I had nearly let it go.  However, during these early weeks of new motherhood, some perfectionistic thoughts have crept in.  Parenting a newborn is challenging, and I’ve had so many learning experiences in the past three weeks – leaky diapers, falling asleep while nursing, etc.  The recovering perfectionist in me tends to focus on those setbacks.  However, the lessons that I’ve learned and the things that I’ve done well FAR outweigh the setbacks.  If I were to dwell on the things that haven’t gone perfectly, I’d have an incorrect perception of how I’m actually doing as a mom.  I’d also miss out on the joy that comes from recognizing that I’m doing a good job.  Not perfect, but more than good enough.

When you are faced with a challenging situation (such as a new job, a new relationship, or a new baby), struggles you’ve had in the past (such as perfectionism, lack of motivation, self-doubt or fear) may pop up again.  That’s normal.  The reoccurrence of these struggles may cause you to feel that you’re moving backward rather than forward.  However, “two steps forward, one step back” still equals forward progress.  What’s important to remember is that you are still progressing more than regressing.

Keep your focus on the direction you want to go, rather than looking backwards or getting stuck in your old struggle.  Remember that you ARE making progress.  You are still moving forward, even if you have an occasional setback.  The only mistake you can make is to view a setback as the end of your forward progress.  Leave your old struggles behind and keep moving forward, because looking back at your past struggles will likely slow you down.  Those backward steps aren’t worth paying attention to, because that’s not the direction you’re headed!

Whoa, Mama!

Ready to take a step forward?

Want to learn more about life coaching?

© Copyright 2004  Lisa M. Evans, Ph.D.