The Explorer

Volume 3, Issue 5, May 2005

a Life Navigation Coaching publication 

May Flowers

Spring has really and truly arrived in Central Ohio!  After a bizarre April snowstorm and too many cold days to count, we’ve had a string of glorious days.  I’m soaking in the sunshine, listening to wind chimes, and admiring the flowers. 

This spring, I’ve discovered a whole new way to be mindful: take a walk with a newly walking baby.  My son started walking a few weeks ago, and since then he and I have spent hours walking up and down our block and exploring our backyard.  Every leaf, twig, and flower is fascinating to him (and he's not eating them as much anymore).

Yesterday I showed my son how to blow the seeds off of a dandelion.  I haven’t done that in years, knowing how frustrating it can be to rid your lawn of dandelions after the seeds have scattered.  But let me tell you, the giggles and grins from him are worth any amount of dandelion-digging I’ll have to do.  If you have access to any dandelions that have gone to seed, take a moment to slowly blow the seeds into the air.  It’ll take you right back to childhood…back to when dandelions were as beautiful as roses.

Have a fantastic month!

Love and Joy,

Your Very, Very Best – Part 2

Last month, I wrote about taking the perspective that the late Thomas Leonard endorsed: “People are doing their very, very best, even when they clearly are not.”  Even though others may not seem to be performing at their best or exhibiting their best behavior, this perspective challenges us to remember that people are doing the very, very best they can do at that moment in time. 

Taking this perspective on others’ behavior leads to feelings of compassion, empathy, and respect for others – something our world can always use more of.  But what about feeling more compassion, empathy, and respect for ourselves?  It’s important to remember that not only are others doing their very, very best, even when they clearly are not, but you are also doing your very, very best, even when you clearly are not.  Some people judge their own behavior just as harshly as they judge others’ behavior, if not more so.  If you’re one of those people, give yourself a break.

Just a few weeks ago, I ran into a friend who had recently gone through a difficult break-up.  I wasn’t sure what to say to her, so I avoided the topic entirely and instead engaged in somewhat awkward small talk about unimportant topics.  After our encounter, I felt terrible that I hadn’t simply said that I was sorry to hear about the end of her long-term relationship.  Why didn’t I just say that at the time?  I’m not entirely sure.  But I do know that at the time I just couldn’t.  Rather than beat myself up about it, I reminded myself that although that was clearly not my most sensitive and caring behavior, it was my very, very best at the time.  That reminder allowed me to forgive myself and also to think about how my very, very best can be even better next time.

Show yourself some compassion.  Give yourself a break.  Respect your own efforts.  If you've begun to do these things for others, you can do them for yourself.  Sometimes it just takes a little reminder.  You’re doing your very, very best, every moment of the day.  And if it’s clear that you’re not doing your very, very best, then make the next moment even better.

Want to learn more about life coaching?

Lisa M. Evans, Ph.D.

(614) 262-8820

© Copyright 2005  Lisa M. Evans, Ph.D.