The Explorer

Volume 1, Issue 6, November 2003

Thanksgiving

We're halfway through November!  The month in which we focus on thankfulness...or turkey...but I prefer to focus on the thankfulness.  I trust that your holiday spirit is growing as Thanksgiving Day approaches.  I'm looking forward to celebrating the day and the season with family and friends.

Speaking of celebrations, Orie and I just returned from a wonderful trip to Mexico, where he stood up in the most amazing wedding we've ever had the privilege of attending.  Imagine a chapel decorated with bright flowers, spirited music played by a mariachi band, rose petals filling the air at the conclusion of the ceremony, and a troupe of little boys blowing bubbles at the newlyweds.  The nine hour outdoor reception concluded with music from another mariachi band that played while fireworks blossomed over the courtyard.  Real fireworks, better than I've seen in some Fourth of July displays.  Amazing!  What a fantastic celebration of life and love.

Thanks to so many of you for sending well-wishes upon learning of my pregnancy.  Our baby is kicking away, and I'm growing bigger by the minute (see below!).  These are definitely thankful times.

Love and Joy,

Courage

A few months ago, I wrote about “Doing What Scares You.”  In conversations with clients and friends, the themes of fear, being scared of changes, and not being able to move forward keep coming up.  I’ve been thinking more about this topic lately, but from a different perspective.  That is, what does it mean to have courage?  What does it mean to be brave?

When I decided to leave academia, people said things like, “Wow, you’re brave!” and “I respect your courage.”  Comments like that threw me off, because I didn’t feel brave at all – I felt scared.  Looking back, I realize that I did what I did because I had gained courage.  I didn’t realize it at the time – I just knew that I needed to move forward and make a change.  When I decided to leave my “safe” pay-the-bills job to become a full-time coach, people made the same types of comments.  Again, it wasn’t courage that I felt at the time.  It was a deep need for a positive change, with a touch of fear thrown in.

I’ve recently started teaching a course on Personal Freedom at a local non-profit agency called Community Connection for Ohio Offenders (http://www.communityconnectionohio.com).  Community Connection provides services to inmates who are reentering Ohio’s communities.  So, my students have either recently been released from prison or are about to be released.  We’re working on setting boundaries, sharing your requirements, raising your standards, finishing unfinished business, and getting your needs met.  These are essential skills for all strong, healthy adults; skills that can help you live more fully and achieve more, more easily.  (For more information on the Personal Freedom Program, including a link to a detailed pdf introducing the program, click here.  Give me a call if you’d like to enhance your own personal freedom!)

Through my work with Community Connection, I’m learning a lot about the prison system and, more importantly, the difficulties that recently released inmates face.  Some haven’t seen their children in years, some have nowhere to live, some have difficulty finding work that will pay them enough to cover their bills, fines, and personal expenses, and some face all of the above plus more.  Despite the difficulties they face, I’m learning that this group is probably the most motivated, respectful, and, yes, courageous, group of students I’ve ever had the privilege to teach. 

Imagine the courage that it takes to restructure your social support system.  I don’t mean making a couple of new friends.  I mean telling your former friends that you have decided that you will not spend time with them any longer because you want to stay clean, support your family, and stay out of prison.  Imagine telling your son, who you haven’t seen in ten years, that you’d like to be part of his life again.  These things take true courage.  And doing these things is scary.

Courage isn’t about not being scared; it’s about moving forward despite the fact that you’re scared.  You may be extremely scared about the change you’re about to make, the words you’re about to speak, or the action you’re about to perform.  However, you become courageous when you make that change or say those words or take that step.  If you wait to make a change until you feel courageous enough, you’ll never end up making the change.  Why?  Because courage comes from action – it comes from moving forward through your fear, rather than letting your fear hold you back.

Consider the following examples of real-life courage:

• Starting something even though you don’t know how it will end
• Starting something even though you DO know it won’t end perfectly
• Starting something even though you don’t know what to expect along the way

These three examples each have two things in common.  First, each one has an element of fear involved – fear of the unknown.  Second, each one involves starting something.  Starting something is the key to acquiring courage.

So what’s the lesson here?  Don’t let fear hold you back – the courage will come later.  In fact, the courage will come pretty quickly, because the first step forward is the hardest.  Once you’ve taken that first step toward what you really want, it all gets easier.  In part because you’ll begin to feel courageous – you’ve begun to move forward!  Let that courageousness wash over you…soak it in…and keep going.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: I’ve learned over time that the things I’m most scared to do and the decisions I’m most scared to make are usually the best and most important ones for me.  It’s those courageous actions, words, and changes that have ended up being the most meaningful and the best.  Don’t let fear keep you from making the changes you most want to make.  Don’t let fear stop you from moving in the direction you most want to go.  Don’t let fear hold you back from allowing yourself to have what you want most.  Courage comes with action.  Act, and you’ll become courageous.

Workshop Announcements!

Small Steps...Big Results: Making Changes That Stick

How well do New Year’s resolutions work for you?  So well that you’ve given up making them altogether, right?  What if you had a guaranteed way to make resolutions work for you?  What changes would you make in your life in 2004?  So often we decide to make big changes in our lives only to discover a short time later that the change didn’t stick.  This pattern of trying to do too much and failing leads to frustration and self-doubt, and it often puts you right back at square one.

This two-hour workshop is for people who want to learn how to make changes that will really stick.  I teach, educate, and coach people in a two-step approach to improving their lives through small, simple steps that lead to big results.  Workshop participants will learn easy, research-based methods that will help them both drop things from their lives that they are tolerating and add things to their lives that they love.  The benefits of this program are increased happiness and peace of mind, a renewed sense of well-being, and an understanding of how to use concrete tools to make positive, sustainable life changes.

This two-hour evening workshop will be offered in-person in Columbus, Ohio.  

Dates:    Monday, January 5, 2004 OR Monday, January 19, 2004

Time:    7:00 - 9:00 pm

Location:    The Center on High, 3208 North High Street, Columbus, Ohio  

Cost:     $20 

Contact Lisa for information on how to register.  Email lisa@lifenavigationcoaching.com or call 614-262-8820.  

Class size is limited to twenty participants.

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Whoa, Baby!  Expecting Change...Expanding Possibilities

You know how some women want so much to become pregnant, then once they are, they find themselves surprised by their feelings, confused by their reactions, and unsure how their newly changed lives will unfold?  They may then become frustrated, feel like they're losing control, and have trouble enjoying their pregnancy.  I'm offering a four-week coaching program for pregnant women, during which I will teach, support, and coach you in powerful methods for creating a life plan during pregnancy.  The benefits of this program are a happier, more joyful pregnancy, a forward thinking approach to new motherhood, and a more balanced and fulfilling life.  

This is a custom-tailored four-week workshop that will be offered in-person in Columbus, Ohio.  We'll be working on one of four topics depending on the group participants' goals and needs.  Want to learn more about the workshop and possible topics?  Click here to go to my Programs and Services page.

Dates:    Four Tuesdays: December 2, 9, 16, and 23 OR Four Sundays: January 4, 11, 18, or 25

Time:    7:00 - 8:30 pm

Location:    The Center on High, 3208 North High Street, Columbus, Ohio  

Cost:     $80  

Contact Lisa for information on how to register.  Email lisa@lifenavigationcoaching.com or call 614-262-8820.  

Class size is limited to ten participants.

Want a little help finding your courage?

Let's arrange a 30-minute introductory coaching call.  It's free.  Click here.

Want to learn more about coaching?

Visit my FAQ page.  Click here.

Life Navigation Coaching
find your direction, plan your journey

  Lisa M. Evans, Ph.D.

  (614) 262-8820

  lisa@lifenavigationcoaching.com

  www.lifenavigationcoaching.com

The Explorer is published more or less monthly to inspire curious people – people who love to explore, discover, and learn – to go out and get what they want.  It is written by Lisa M. Evans, Ph.D., of Life Navigation Coaching, who coaches people to close the gap between where they are and where they want to be.

You can contact Lisa at (614) 262-8820 or by e-mail at lisa@lifenavigationcoaching.com.

Visit Life Navigation Coaching at www.lifenavigationcoaching.com to learn more about life coaching, Lisa, and opportunities for you.

You may use material from The Explorer in whole or in part, provided you include the complete attribution, including a live web site link and e-mail link.  Please inform me when and where the material will appear.  

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Ó Copyright 2003 Lisa M. Evans, Ph.D.